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Thrilled to go away, and more than happy to be back home now. Isn't that just how it should be?

I learned a few things about myself these past few days and I have been pleasantly surprised by what I've found. For starters, ever since we gave up meat and dairy a couple of months ago (on April 27, to be exact), we've pretty much stuck to our plan with one exception when we ate dinner out. Considering how much I have always loved cheese and butter, it's amazing that I've been able to walk away from it so easily. It's a testament to how great I feel now that I'm not eating it.

Mom suggested we eat lobster for dinner one night. LOBSTER. With BUTTER. Would it be good? Would we like it? Heck, we always used to! So we said yes, and waited to see how we would feel while (and after) we ate it. And of course we wanted to go down to the beach and see how many clams we could dig up to have as an appetizer.

So how did we feel? Was the lobster worth it? As much as I hate to say it, because it's such an expensive treat and because I always loved it so much, I don't think it was. Jeff didn't think so either. And that came as a complete surprise to me. It's one thing to say we're giving up certain foods, and then not eat them, but it's an entirely different thing to eat them again and not feel it was worth doing.

Something else that caught me off guard was seeing how firm my personal boundaries have become. I haven't done any conscious "work" on them, but here they are, clearer than they've ever been. I'm at a point in my life where my issues are my issues, and I don't want anyone else working on them for me (or with me). Ultimately, no one else can do it. It's up to me. I'm on a journey of personal responsibility that I have to take by myself.

Likewise, I'm not interested in crossing into someone else's "issue space". This is a change for me. My mother was telling me that she's in the midst of switching doctors because her doctor left the practice and now she's got to find a new one. And while this search is happening, she happens to have a medical issue that she's concerned about. And I'm concerned about it too. She knows she has to see a doctor but she's not running to the phone to make an appointment. Normally, I would be worried about her, and I would think about her and hope she's okay... obsessively, for a few weeks, or until she had seen the new doctor. This weekend I did worry, and I did hope she was okay, but only for a minute. Then I realized that it's not my body, not my search for a new doctor, not my phone call. I have my own health to think about, and my mother is an adult, a former nurse, and she's completely capable of taking care of her own health. So I'm letting her. I'm not going to try to get into her personal space and take over her issues. They're hers, not mine.

I guess you could say that I'm maturing. Geez, I thought that was something you did when you were young and learned to load the dishwasher without help... or something that happened when you were older and had seen more in life. It never really occurred to me that it would happen now, when I play with little kids all day and the last thing I think about are issues of maturity.

This is what Justine said we'll get from the farm tomorrow:

Cucumbers, Carrots, Lettuce, Parsley, Beets, Mesclun, Swiss Chard or Kale, and one additional vegetable not yet determined.

She said that many crops were destroyed by the hail last week.

I can't wait to check our little backyard garden tomorrow!


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About Me

My name is Jillian. I started this blog as a way to experiment with my camera and it's a become a nice little spot where I enjoy spending time. I'm a mother to 6 and 4 year old daughters, wife to a cool computer guy, and mama to a cuddly cat. We enjoy eating local, organic food; managing several food allergies; homeschooling with love; spending time in nature; and we love to take time each day to be creative. You can also find me over at From Scratch Club from time to time. Welcome!