We're okay here. Still sick, with new antibiotics for both girls, but overall okay. I think the pellet stove dries out our house too much. We've got humidifiers in the sleeping quarters, but it looks like we need some moisture in the air in the living space, too. A cold that lasts this long and comes back to haunt us with sinus infections is not typical for us.

I had the chance to tell 'A's doctor about the hot dog incident and her anaphylactic reaction. I asked if I handled it appropriately, giving her only the Benadryl and waiting to see if more severe reactions occurred. She told me that I should have administered the epipen at the moment she said her mouth and throat felt funny. Remember, I didn't want to give it because I knew it would be a traumatic event (try stabbing yourself with a needle, hold it in your leg for 10 seconds, feel your heart race and think that things are out of control afterward, listen to your mother scream for help and then be a good patient for the advanced life support team that arrives on the scene). One of my questions was, "how do I know how to handle it in the future?" After I spoke with her, I knew. I don't want this to be the answer, but it is. We're now squarely in Epipen Land. Every time an allergic person is exposed to an allergen, the reaction gets more severe. Next time 'A' is exposed to exactly the same amount of dairy that was in that hot dog, her reaction will be even more severe, and will without a doubt warrant use of the epipen.

For almost 5 years now, I've wondered if I would ever need to use it. I never knew exactly what her reaction would be. That unknown was always a reason to hold out hope that it would never be too severe, or that she may outgrow this allergy. But here we are, and although the future isn't necessarily bleak, because there's a lot of wonderful things about vegan living, the idea of her ever being a "regular kid" who eats pizza and ice cream is now really, truly gone. The idea that she can sit next to another playful child and be goofy and silly is now only possible in a situation that does not involve food. The idea of going someplace and being more than a few feet away from the epipen is now an impossibility.

Nothing is all that different now, except that I have new, more accurate information and my actions going forward will be shaped by it. She's still the same little girl I have known and loved.


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About Me

My name is Jillian. I started this blog as a way to experiment with my camera and it's a become a nice little spot where I enjoy spending time. I'm a mother to 6 and 4 year old daughters, wife to a cool computer guy, and mama to a cuddly cat. We enjoy eating local, organic food; managing several food allergies; homeschooling with love; spending time in nature; and we love to take time each day to be creative. You can also find me over at From Scratch Club from time to time. Welcome!