too much for one day


:: After sitting by the stove for 2 months, too fragile to move, Erma picked today, a downright chilly day, to venture outside. Go figure. ::

Today was a slow, easy day... wake up late, watch the girls eat a leisurely breakfast, exercise my rear end off, make gingerbread houses, cook dinner, watch The Polar Express for the first time ever, and tuck the girls into bed.

I needed an easy day after last night's saga. We went to the Victorian Streetwalk in downtown Saratoga Springs to see the sights (including 'A's gingerbread house that was on display with all the 4-H gingerbread houses). I bought 'A' and 'H' some chocolate candies that I have been buying for a few years now and assumed they were still dairy-free. As it turns out, they've changed the recipe. But I didn't know that. A few seconds after eating it, 'A' had an anaphylactic reaction to the chocolate. Hives, throat closing, breathing troubles... the whole thing. I had never administered the epi-pen before and was too scared to do so on Broadway last night. I had no idea what to expect! We were minutes from the hospital, so we drove there. I pulled out her epi-pen at the ER and the doctor suggested I give it to her "for practice." It went exactly as I thought it would. I held her arms back, to keep her from fighting me off, and injected it into her thigh. Her oxygen level shot right back up to normal and she was fine after that. Now I know.


We stayed at the hospital for a number of hours last night. I was thankful that we were all there together, that Jeff had seen the whole situation unfold and was there with us. It's a family issue, and we faced it as a family. It was just as it should have been. Except it shouldn't have been.

Today she's fine, physically and emotionally. Well, for most of the day she's been fine. As I was putting her to bed tonight she let a little vulnerability show. She's a tough cookie. What I fear most is that one more layer of trust and comfort has been pulled away from her. What she experienced - the physical feelings of not being able to catch her breath, and the emotional trauma of watching a number of medical professionals poke her with needles and work on her body in the ER - is too much for a little girl to process. It's too much for me to process too.

This is not the food allergy rant I alluded to yesterday, although it certainly fits into that category. That rant is coming soon.


I needed this slow day, this day to stop and enjoy my children. Tomorrow I'll be working at the farmer's market and I'll have some time to think about other things (vegetables!). It'll be Jeff's turn to hold them close.


:: The gingerbread houses the girls made today ::




:: art in Saratoga... ::


:: ...and music ::

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About Me

My name is Jillian. I started this blog as a way to experiment with my camera and it's a become a nice little spot where I enjoy spending time. I'm a mother to 6 and 4 year old daughters, wife to a cool computer guy, and mama to a cuddly cat. We enjoy eating local, organic food; managing several food allergies; homeschooling with love; spending time in nature; and we love to take time each day to be creative. You can also find me over at From Scratch Club from time to time. Welcome!