Butter? Nope.

If there's one thing I thought I had learned about living with a child with food allergies, it's this: "As much as you want to have hope that she'll outgrow it, keep your hope tempered. Don't get too excited about new treatments or milestones, because what works one day might not work the next." How is that for depressing? I've been trying something new with 'A' and it's been working so far, but today I pushed too far and we hit a wall. What I've been doing is feeding her baked products that contain milk. Research shows that children who are allergic to milk are able to eat foods that have been baked for 20-30 minutes. What's more, these same children who eat baked products every day are more likely to outgrow their allergy sooner.

I've been thinking back to a time a few years ago when 'A' ate a cookie at a friend's house that was made with butter and eggs and she had absolutely no reaction whatsoever. Wondering if she might be able to tolerate baked goods made with dairy, I made her a cake using milk last week. We sat down and I tested it on her skin first (the inside of her arm, the back of her neck, her face, her lips) and then she held a small piece inside her mouth for a minute. When I was sure she was fine, I fed her a small piece. Then a larger piece. So far, so good. For a few days, she ate a piece of cake a day.

This weekend I ran out of baked cake and needed to make muffins for her to eat, so I picked up some rhubarb at the farmer's market and today I made two different batches. One is made with sour cream. The other is made with both milk and butter. I've been wondering about whether or not I can bake with butter. It's certainly cheaper than the margarine she eats and when you consider that the ingredients in the margarine are linked to cancer, it's significantly healthier too.

Can I bake with butter? Not yet. I don't think so, anyway. I had her try a bite of one of the butter and milk muffins and her throat became irritated and she started to cough. In my experience, she was headed for an anaphylactic reaction, so I gave her a dose of Benadryl right away and within a few minutes she was fine. Some questions remain. If I had used rice milk instead of cow milk in the recipe, reducing the total amount of dairy protein, would she have been fine?

I have to say, I'm tired of this. It's not just that I'm tired of spending all my time cooking (I go through phases with cooking, and right now I'm tired of it), but I'm tired of worrying. I'm tired of being the overprotective, bitch mom who doesn't let her kid do anything. I'm tired of living part of my life in fear. I'm tired of being angry that food labels don't disclose all of the hidden dairy and corn. I'm tired of being resentful that the world is set up for children who can eat all the foods that 'A' can't. I'm just tired.


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About Me

My name is Jillian. I started this blog as a way to experiment with my camera and it's a become a nice little spot where I enjoy spending time. I'm a mother to 6 and 4 year old daughters, wife to a cool computer guy, and mama to a cuddly cat. We enjoy eating local, organic food; managing several food allergies; homeschooling with love; spending time in nature; and we love to take time each day to be creative. You can also find me over at From Scratch Club from time to time. Welcome!