Happy Birthday, big little girl!


I have a million and one things to do right now. A sensible person would tell me to put down the camera and pick up the pace. Thank goodness there aren't any sensible people here with me today!


It's close to the end of 'H's naptime and I still have to finish preparing the dishes we're bringing to our friend's home for a passover seder tonight. Today happens to be 'A's birthday (four years old!) and I am in the process of making a vegan "cheesecake" and instead of a graham cracker crust I used matzoh meal. The crust was pretty tasteless so I added some maple syrup at the last minute and I'm wondering how it will turn out.

I'm also making a few vegan matzoh balls in a little soup so that 'A' can take part in that tradition, too.

Today she asked her preschool teacher to not sing "Happy Birthday" to her and she asked me to make sure no one sings it tonight. Got it.


Tomorrow I am devoting a chunk of time to tax filing prep. I know, I know, the deadline is coming up soon. Jeff and I are many things, but one thing we are not is results-driven and timely. That was two things. It's a good thing we're both like that, otherwise we would drive each other crazy.


Yesterday I made fig bars for 'A's preschool birthday snack. They called for lemon zest, and I am always so thankful for recipes that call for lemon zest, because they give me a really good excuse to make a quick glass of lemonade, one of my favorite treats.


Happy dilly-dallying!

fuzzy


This is how I'm seeing things today. Fuzzy with a touch of snow.

'H' was up again last night, lots and lots of times. Her back molars are coming in... sort of. They're getting ready to surface, getting ready to want to poke through, but they're nowhere near making an appearance. It doesn't matter though, because they hurt anyway. 'A' was the same way, she would teethe for months before a tooth appeared. Just when she got done with one teething pain, another one would start.

As a result of my night awake, I'm having trouble focusing my eyes today.

'A' got to use her new stainless steel water bottle today and 'H' has been happy with her stainless steel sippy cup for the little bit she's had it. I was out at the bookstore yesterday looking for an Easter-themed book for the girls and 'H' was with me, holding tight to her cup. It's a Kleen Kanteen sippy cup and is BPA-free. Another mom at the bookstore looked at her and asked where I got the cup, quickly followed by, "Plastic is really bad for us." I stood there thinking, "Am I still living in my bubble and now I'm running into people who are living in my bubble too, or is the Plastic Is Bad attitude a mainstream thing?" I would LOVE it if it were mainstream! Not because I have any desire to be part of the mainstream (I don't have any desire to be out of it either... I have no preference either way, just as long as I get to do what I want without people making decisions for me). I would love it if it were mainstream because it would mean that lots and lots of people are doing something to consume less plastic. And that would be a good thing.

Both girls are napping now and the house is quiet. I want to curl up with a blanket now, but I just cannot afford that luxury today. Tomorrow I will, I promise.

cooking


Yesterday we said good-bye to Grandma Shelly and Grandpa Neal, who were here for a visit. I was not surprised this morning when 'A' said, "When are we going to see Grandma and Grandpa today?" and then got upset when I explained that we said good-bye yesterday and she would have to wait until May.

Her birthday party for friends was on Sunday morning and after she got over her discomfort with the idea of listening to people sing "Happy Birthday" in her honor, she got excited and had a very good time. Ever since she decided to collect pajamas and toothpaste and toothbrushes for the kids at the shelter, I have been quietly checking in with her to see how she feels about getting those items instead of presents at her party. She was fine, fine, fine with it right up until that morning, and still fine with it during her party, and I checked in after it was over and she was happy about it and then said that she would like to open a present too. I totally understand that. Doing something good for someone else feels really, really good, but it's fun to open something special for yourself too. That's why I set up her family present-opening extravaganza for that evening, to give her a time to open presents just for her.

I'm excited to take her to the shelter to drop off the presents - I think then it will click with her that these gifts are going somewhere specific, and she can visualize where the kids will be when they get them.


Her party was a lot of fun and I am so happy Jeff's parents were here to help us out! We had a lot of "getting ready" to do. The kids got to make kites out of paper bags, and we spent some time getting the kites and the string ready to go. And of course there were other party-related tasks that were attended to by all of us. It worked out really well, and I can totally see why the extended family living situation works better than the single-family household world we live in.

Anyway, the kites do get up in the air on a blustery day, although not terribly high. They're more like wind socks. I cut the bottom out of the bag and threaded cotton string through one open end. With a few tails stapled on, it works and is a really neat way to watch the wind blow!


I rediscovered a very happy ritual today, and it reminds me that everything I do - the good and the really dumb - is probably for a reason. My microwave is temporarily out of service (more on that in a minute) and this afternoon I wanted a cup of hot coffee. I had some leftover in the pot from this morning, and it just needed a shot of heat to bring it to life. Lacking a microwave, I put it in a pan on the stove and waited for it to get hot. Back when I was in Paris I would make an espresso every day with my Bialetti stove top espresso maker (it makes the best espresso ever and I have to say, I make really great coffee with it). Now, I cannot drink my coffee without milk and sugar (some say that I can't drink milk and sugar without a little coffee...), so in Paris I would always heat up the milk and sugar together in a pan on the stove. Ahhh, have you ever done that? There is something about the chemistry of sugar warmed in milk on direct heat that makes it all so sweet and frothy and just delightful. I forgot all of this. And today when I warmed the coffee and the sugar and the milk in one pan, it all came back to me.

My microwave is out of commission because I threw my dish sponge in it yesterday to kill the germs. I set it for five minutes and walked away. Don't do that! The sponge is now a charred fragment of its former self and my microwave is out under the gazebo, door wide open, airing out.


The title of this post is cooking and now I don't even feel like talking about it, I just want to go and do it. I've had take-in and eat-out meals these past few days and today I'm getting reacquainted with my kitchen. On one hand, I've been spoiled with all of those ready-made meals, but at the same time, it feels good to cook again. It's nice to have a break, and therapeutic to be back, I guess. Today I'm cleaning out the fridge and I used up the basil and walnuts in a creamy pesto sauce that we'll use tonight over angel hair pasta with some roasted "getting-old" grape tomatoes.

And I'm making a new recipe of whole wheat bread to try as I write this. I've got a leftover old loaf that is looking forward to finding a home in two soups this week: french onion and pappa al pomodoro.


Have a great day!

One day I will take 'H' to a Seurat exhibit and she may find that she feels at home in the world of Pointillism.


Everything was as it should have been today. Everything fell into place. Even 'A' asked while we were out, "Where are we? Are we just where we should be?"

And I said, "Yes."

mothering...


I opened up Katrina Kenison's "Mitten Strings for God: Reflections for Mothers in a Hurry" this afternoon. Despite the title, there's not a lot about the book that focuses on either God or religion. It's a book about mothering. It seems like every chapter was written for me. The author seeks ways to focus on her family, to connect and reconnect on a daily basis, and to slow the clock down long enough to really cherish the moments she has with her children and her spouse.

I wonder about things like that too.

In my adult life, I have met women of different ages and stages who see life from all different angles. Some are wrapped up in the busy-ness of the day to day stuff and seem to let it all rush by; other women seem to really savor each moment and radiate gratitude. As much as I hate to slap a stereotype on the women in that second group, those who savor the moments, who know how to appreciate the here and now, who don't spend too much time thinking ahead and instead enjoy life, themselves, their mate, their children and their grandchildren, I have to say that the ones who can do that have generally been older women. They're grandmas now, or maybe their life experience includes divorce or death, or maybe they took time to sit back and take in the wisdom of the world, and they managed to carve out a peaceful and meaningful place for themselves.

I don't want to have to wait until I'm older to know how to appreciate all that I have. I don't want to watch my girls grow up and wonder where it all went. I don't want to spend my life feeling entitled to this or that, without first feeling grateful to the earth for all that I have.

When I have these kinds of "Big Life" questions, I do what I do naturally. I read and I carve out chunks of alone time to think and feel and process it all. The pages of "Mitten Strings for God" offers me a comforting place to ask some questions.


Speaking of questions, I've been asking a lot of questions lately about the things that have a place in my kitchen. I know what the answers are - I know exactly what they are - but I am not at all ready to hear them. Here's a sampling of what I might ask:
"OK, plastic is bad for food storage and serving. Got it. Glass is okay, so is stainless steel. How about aluminum foil?" Now, the answer is, "Aluminum foil is not so great. There are also health risks and the production of aluminum foil is just so harmful to the earth." Easy enough so far, right? But then my next question is, "So how are we supposed to store things to keep them fresh?" And do you know what the ultimate answer is? I do. The million dollar answer is that humans weren't designed to harvest, process and cook food. We were designed to have a fresh, raw food diet. How many other animals do you know that harvest wheat, grind it up, package it into bags, and use it to bake bread or crackers? How many other animals go up to a lactating mother of another species and take its milk, shake it up really hard all day, and call it cheese?

I don't want to eat a raw food diet, but I know perfectly well that it's the right answer.

On Saturday we went to Nightingale's maple farm, a local farm that produces maple syrup. They were participating in the New York Maple Weekend. We learned all about how the sap is drained from the trees and piped into the sugar shack to have the water taken out. The syrup, candies and the maple cream are just delicious! We bought all three.


When I look at the maple trees, all I can think is, "who in the world discovered the sap and how did they find out about boiling off the water?"

As it turns out, the native Americans discovered the sap and they used to remove the water by leaving the bucket of sap outside on a cold night and removing the layer of ice in the morning, and by dropping hot cooking stones into the bucket. They also boiled off the water over a fire. Pretty neat.


'H' goes to the doctor on Tuesday for her 2 year visit. I'm going to ask him to order allergy testing for her. I had thought that she wasn't allergic to anything, unlike 'A' who is allergic to dairy, eggs and some nuts. But now I'm wondering if she might have an issue with dairy or even wheat. Her GI system is irregular to say the least, and I just can't figure out why. I cut out dairy and it didn't make a difference. Now I'm wondering about wheat.

Ugh, gluten-free, on top of dairy and egg-free? I hope we don't have to go that route. It's certainly healthy, but it's also pretty restrictive.


These days the sap isn't collected in buckets, it runs through these tubes that tap the trees. All of the tubes connect and they run downhill, using gravity to move the sap along. The tubes converge at a place called the "vacuum booster" and then the sap all runs into the sugar shack where the water is extracted and boiled off.




Today is a day to play at home. We don't have to get in the car today, we don't have to do anything in particular. So far we've taken care of baby dolls and stuffed animals, colored with markers, and played with playdough. 'A' and 'H' are just about due for a snack.

I finally did something that I've been meaning to do for a while. I gathered all of my cleansers and boxed up the toxic ones (Lysol, Windex, etc.) to give away and stocked up on vinegar, baking soda and borax.


Tomorrow night is Earth Hour and at 8:30 pm (local time) everyone is urged to turn their lights off - and all other possible electricity - for an hour. You can read more about it here.

If you're interested in saving ink every time you print, you'll want to hear about this. Jeff introduced me to Ecofont, a font that was designed to save as much ink as possible. It's funky - there are circles without color in the middle of each letter - but it does print out okay and I'll use it for my printing purposes.
You can download the font for free here.

'H' is doing better today - I think her fever is due to teething. She's getting her molars all the way in the back of her mouth and they're really bothering her. She's doing much better.

Yesterday I took her to a music class while 'A' was at preschool. It was the first class I had done with just 'H' and it was very interesting to see the difference between the two of them in that kind of situation. 'A' would have been glued to me and would have barely participated. 'H', on the other hand, did everything the teacher told her to do and was first in line to roll on the rug, something the kids had to line up and take turns for. 'A' never would have rolled. It's just amazing to see how different two children from the same family can be.

Have a happy Friday!

So, after spending much of the night awake in 'H's room while we worked through her fever and night sweats, I am left wondering how I ever functioned when I was a sleep-deprived mother of babies. I can see staying up for one night, maybe two... but doing it night after night for months?

Oh yeah, now I remember what went through my mind when 'H' was first born. That first night I thought, "This is a nightmare! I can't believe I forgot about this part of the job! It's all coming back to me now."

Anyway, she will be fine, she just needs a little time to rest.

Jeff and I have been painting the kitchen and dining room. We think we picked a good color - Ben Moore's "Vellum" - and it looks like we have two more evenings of painting and then we are done! Good thing, too, because I'm starting to go a little crazy looking at my kitchen appliances grouped together in the middle of the kitchen table.

I've got two books and a knitting project open right now. My knitting project is another one of my ways of "reusing, reducing and recycling" - I'm knitting a reusable grocery tote bag out of plastic bags. Here is a link to a website that gives instructions on how to do it: http://www.diynetwork.com/diy/cr_needle_arts/article/0,2025,DIY_13768_3059465,00.html
It's kind of funky! I stopped taking in new plastic bags a while ago - I bring my own bags everywhere I go or I do without for small purchases - and I love knowing that I'm using my existing bags for something good instead of throwing them away. My last frontier on the plastic grocery bag issue involves the cat box. I just switched from the clay litter to biodegradable litter and I am still using a plastic bag to take out the dirty litter. What am I supposed to do? Scoop it into a can and dump it outside? I can't make my cats go outside to do their thing - Miss Fragile 1 and Miss Fragile 2 would never go for it.


Books:
The Forger's Spell: A True Story of Vermeer, Nazis, and the Greatest Art Hoax of the Twentieth Century is a story about all the good things in life - art, history, drama and a bunch of psychology thrown in. The neat thing about this story is that it explores why so many people blindly jumped on the bandwagon of admiring the forged Vermeer when it was obviously a poorly made fake. Why do we convince ourselves that something is fabulous when it's not? What do we get out of it?

Poisoned Profits: The Toxic Assault on Our Children is an eye-opener. It's a comprehesive review of different types of pollutants in our environment - our water, soil, food sources, air, etc... and how they are affecting us, particularly our children. There are is an appendix that is chock-full of good information about how to reduce our exposure to pollutants. There is also info about how to find out how much pollution is in your area. I found out by going to www.scorecard.org that my county, Saratoga County in upstate New York, is one of the dirtiest counties in the United States when it comes to air pollution. So, even if I were to protect my family by using all natural products and eating all natural food, we would still be taking in harmful chemicals just by breathing.

Knowing what kinds of chemicals are in the air and in our water gives me even more of a reason to get more serious about protecting us from chemicals we don't have to bring into our home. Why put more into our bodies than we have to?

We have a story called On the Same Day in March by Marilyn Singer, in which the reader is taken around the world to see what is happening on the same day in March. This week we've been reminded of a page that describes the disappearing snow of March.

"in ALBERTA, CANADA
Just when you can't even remember spring,
that wild Chinook blows in like a dragon,
and quicker than you can say Medicine Hat,
the biggest snow fort ever
is nothing but a dragon-shaped patch
in somebody's backyard.

On the same day in March..."

Above is our dragon-shaped patch in the backyard.


I've been cooking and baking, more out of necessity than enjoyment. I do enjoy it, so I'm not going to complain. I regularly make muffins using roasted butternut squash, whole wheat flour, flaxseed and wheat germ because they make excellent breakfast fare at our home, particularly for one of my children who does well with the additional fiber. To make the muffins, I start by roasting, gutting and pureeing a squash, and I go from there.

I also made some bread yesterday. I didn't plan to, but I went to the grocery store and stopped first at the deli to get Jeff some sliced turkey, and then I planned to stop at the bakery to pick up a loaf of bread for sandwiches. The woman at the bakery seems to love to snicker at me for getting the bread in just the paper bag, without the plastic bag too. When I stopped at the deli, I asked the gentleman behind the counter if he could wrap it in paper instead of plastic and he honestly had no idea what I was talking about. By the looks of him, he was 65+ years old, and I cannot believe that he has never seen deli meat wrapped in paper in his lifetime! After that long discussion, I didn't have the stamina to get the bread at the bakery, so I decided to make some. Homemade is always so much better anyway, at least in my home. So, I made some oatmeal-honey-whole wheat bread. The ingredient list was RICH. I would never make is as an everyday bread because it calls for all of the things that are just so extravagant for a standard bread recipe: milk, honey, butter and an egg wash. Good bread can be made from just flour, water and salt! But at the time, I saw this recipe and knew it would be a success, so I went with it. If I were to make it again, which is unlikely except for a special occasion, I would use less yeast and more salt. Salt will bring out the flavor of the bread, but it also makes it tougher, so there's a fine line that you have to walk there. I used rice milk and Smart Balance instead of milk and butter, and I omitted the egg wash because 'A' is allergic to eggs.

Here is the recipe:

Oatmeal Wheat Bread

Ingredients
2 cups whole milk
1 cup old-fashioned rolled oats (not quick-cooking) plus additional for topping
1/2 cup warm water (105-115°F)
2 tablespoons active dry yeast (from 3 packages)
1/2 cup mild honey
1/2 stick (1/4 cup) unsalted butter, melted and cooled, plus additional for buttering pans
3 cups stone-ground whole-wheat flour
About 2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon salt
Vegetable oil for oiling bowl
1 large egg, lightly beaten with 1 tablespoon water

Preparation
Heat milk in a 1 1/2- to 2-quart saucepan over low heat until hot but not boiling, then remove pan from heat and stir in oats. Let stand, uncovered, stirring occasionally, until cooled to warm.

Stir together water, yeast, and 1 teaspoon honey in a small bowl; let stand until foamy, 5 minutes. (If mixture doesn't foam, discard and start over with new yeast.) Stir yeast mixture, melted butter, and remaining honey into cooled oatmeal.

Stir together whole-wheat flour, 1 1/2 cups unbleached flour, and salt in a large bowl. Add oat mixture, stirring with a wooden spoon until a soft dough forms. Turn out onto a well-floured surface and knead with floured hands, adding just enough of remaining unbleached flour to keep from sticking, until dough is smooth, soft, and elastic, about 10 minutes (dough will be slightly sticky). Form dough into a ball and transfer to an oiled large bowl, turning to coat. Cover bowl loosely with plastic wrap and a kitchen towel; let rise at warm room temperature until doubled in bulk, 1 to 1 1/2 hours.

Lightly butter loaf pans. Turn out dough onto a lightly floured surface and knead several times to remove air. Divide dough in half and shape each half into a loaf, then place 1 loaf in each buttered pan, seam side down, tucking ends gently to fit. Cover loaf pans loosely with a kitchen towel and let dough rise in a draft-free place at warm room temperature until doubled in bulk, about 1 hour.

Put oven rack in middle position and preheat oven to 375°F. Lightly brush tops of loaves with some of egg wash and sprinkle with oats, then bake until bread is golden and loaves sound hollow when tapped on bottom, 35 to 40 minutes. (Remove 1 loaf from pan to test for doneness. Run a knife around edge of pan to loosen.)

Remove bread from pans and transfer to a rack to cool completely, about 1 1/2 hours.

That's not all. I've been moving toward a meat-free diet without really focusing on it (I never liked meat when I was younger, so all I'm really doing is coming back to my authentic eating preferences). I need to add some protein to our daily diet, so today I decided to use up some things I had in the cupboard and in the fridge by making a batch of quinoa-red bean burgers. Not bad. Our kids didn't like them, even after we renamed them "Princess Patties". But they did like the french fries I made (oh yeah, I made the best, bestest french fries EVER today!).

Click here for the french fry recipe. I used organic Yukon Gold potatoes and they were just unbelievable!

first day of spring

We went to the Pine Bush just west of Albany today to celebrate the first day of spring. It was my first time there and I was surprised by how much it looks and feels like the Cape.







making a mobile


These are the moments that make my heart go all aflutter. 'A' has been working on her "knitting" for two days now. She's taken a bunch of fabric scraps and some paper and made a mobile for 'H'. "She can hang it over her crib and have something to look at."

What makes this so special is that she spent a while yesterday trying to figure out how to connect the fabric and paper pieces before going to her sticker pile and pulling out the big ones. She used those to piece together her mobile. I thought it was a very creative way of handling the issue! The best part was how she kept adjusting it over and over again. She wasn't ready to have it photographed because she wasn't happy with it. Finally it all came together for her and she asked for these photos to be taken.

breakfast


breakfast today, then we're off to the library and the store to pick up some origami paper for an upcoming project.



About Me

My name is Jillian. I started this blog as a way to experiment with my camera and it's a become a nice little spot where I enjoy spending time. I'm a mother to 6 and 4 year old daughters, wife to a cool computer guy, and mama to a cuddly cat. We enjoy eating local, organic food; managing several food allergies; homeschooling with love; spending time in nature; and we love to take time each day to be creative. You can also find me over at From Scratch Club from time to time. Welcome!