Showing posts with label Life Lessons Friday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life Lessons Friday. Show all posts

Life Lessons Friday: Learning to let go and watch things unfold


Updates, updates, updates:

The baby birds: They're all dead. Yup, all of 'em. Why? Who knows? Too much peeking in? Too cold last Saturday night? Were the roofers who are ripping off our old roof too annoying? Were they sick? I'll never know. On Sunday we were leaving for church and I did my daily peek. There were fewer in the nest and one was laying on the bottom, legs splayed out behind it. It looked dead. When we returned later in the day, the nest was empty. The mother came and stayed in the nest overnight, and by the next day she was gone.

Sad, yes. But I have to say, it was a bad situation from the start. A nest at our front door, roofers on top of the house... not to mention it was a House Finch family, and they have spent the past few decades crowding out other birds at feeders, taking over more and more territory. If it had been a rarer breed, the whole thing might have been different. I might have never peeked, I might have rescheduled the roofers, I might have locked up the front door for a few months.

Learning to Rest: Me. Learning to rest. I'm trying, really I am. Actually I am reluctantly learning that I have to. I'm sick and I need to take my health very seriously this week and next so that I can get better. Last week I got bit by a bug or a spider and I had an allergic reaction that lasted for a few days, followed by a skin infection called cellulitis. My leg swelled, got red, became super hot, and it kept getting worse. It's not something that will go away on its own, so I sought medical help. I'm now on super-strong antibiotics that are slowly making my leg feel better, but my stomach feels worse. I'm eating lots of homemade yogurt, trying to keep things together and my attitude positive. Five more days left of antibiotics. I know I'll make it.

I'm wondering if drinking raw milk would make my stomach feel better or worse these next few days. If all the good bacteria is being killed off, will I be able to digest the raw milk and stay healthy? Will the bacteria in the raw milk help me? Or hurt me?


Learning to Read: 'A'. It turns out that she doesn't need glasses, not yet anyway. So we're back to the original idea, which is that she just will not have anything to do with sitting down and learning to read with a teacher. However, she does get out of bed every night after we tuck her in, and she tries to read and write on her own. I think it's wonderful. Just this week, she started writing notes to me and Jeff. I'm learning that she'll gracefully accept one gentle suggestion about her spelling, but not more than one. As I made strawberry jam this week, she drew a picture of jars of jam and wrote me this note: "Do you love str barae cjam Mommy." My answer is, "Yes!"

It's taken me a while to get used to letting go and letting her teach herself. She's so clear with me that she will teach herself to read. It's been hard for me to really and truly keep my hands out of it. I am definitely closer now than ever before. She'll do it on her own time and in her own way.

Allergies & Asthma: 'A' visited a local allergist this week and we got her official asthma diagnosis. I've been waiting to hear those words. Even though she's used a nebulizer and an inhaler over the past year, no one has ever confirmed that she has asthma... until this doctor said it. It's new territory for me. I can tell when she's good and wheezy, but there are signs leading up to that point that I haven't learned to pick up yet. The *good* news that came from this most recent visit is that our insurance company will pay for allergy shots and the shots should help her seasonal allergies (which are awful in the spring, kind of bad now, and might be a problem in the fall, as she is allergic to trees, grass and ragweed). AND the shots might help her Oral Allergy Syndrome (which is where she gets red splotches on her face and a tingly tongue when she eats raw fruits and vegetables). It's not fun to be sick, to be poked and tested, but at least there are some positive things coming out of all of this.



Life Lessons Friday: learning how to prioritize


Last week I wrote about my new To Do List for my phone. While I can't say I'm completely thrilled with the product, I will say that my life changed after I started using it. I'm not sure I'll purchase the software when my trial period ends. It slows down my phone and it doesn't always sync with my computer. I will however look for another type of Task List software to try out.

As soon as I wrote out all of my tasks and had them in plain sight all day long, I was able to see so clearly why I feel like I can't get anything done. I have too much to do! I've been telling myself for a while now to just say "No" to new projects. Now that I see how my time is spent, it's much easier for me to see the need to say that magical word.

How do I want to spend my time? I only have so much time to allocate to different activities every day. Certain things are fixed, such as working specific hours for pay. But the other things that fill my time... do they help me reach my personal goals?

My top goals and intentions are:

taking care of my health
educating my children
appreciating my husband as much as I can

Others are:

living a green lifestyle
staying close with our extended family and our friends
running my household as smoothly as possible
being involved in my church

Those goals are reasonable and attainable. The funny thing is, when I looked at my To Do List, my top priorities weren't at the top. In fact, everything listed under "Other" owned the prime real estate on my calendar. Guess what was at the bottom.... so far at the bottom that it didn't even make it on the list? Me and my health. There were no blocks of time carved out for exercise, and no time set aside to think about mindful eating.

When I realized this, I knew right away what I had to do. I made time to go to the gym. It felt great to be back. I'm going 4 days each week. Something else happened too. I decided I didn't want to be spending so much time doing things that other people can do just as well as I. If it wasn't one of the top 3 priorities, it would have to wait. I went about my life, watching opportunities for involvement float past me and I didn't jump up to grab them. I thought about ways I can shorten my To Do List and put the focus on the Really Important Things.

It's only been a week, and although I feel happy about this, it hasn't been easy. I have had to curb the urge to get involved in things that "look like fun" and understand that someone else will come along who will do it just as well as me, and perhaps better if they're not overwhelmed with too many projects, as I sometimes am. I have had to talk myself down from feeling selfish because I want to spend so much time on things that primarily benefit me and my family. It's not selfish to focus on us, I know, but I haven't been accustomed to thinking about it so clearly. There are a few old ways that need mending here.

All in all, I see the value of writing things down and keeping track of what causes frustration, pain and confusion. It took not more than a day of looking at my To Do items to determine that I was unhappy with how my time was allocated. It's so much easier to address an issue if you take a moment to gather a few facts.

Putting yourself at the top of the priority list is good. Making changes and taking action to reinforce it is better. Learning how to do it over and over again until it becomes part of who you are is best.

Life Lessons Friday: Living in a Culture of Fear


I love so many things about how we live in the present day, but one thing I don't like is how we live in a culture of fear. Sometimes it's warranted, sometimes not.

I'm a parent of two girls who are 4 and 6 years old. Not a week goes by that I'm not reminded about how "scary" the world is for parents and their children.

I hear the voices of fearful parents all around. Parents of teenagers and pre-teens leave their children home alone and worry about what is going to go wrong; parents of young children don't let their children play in the yard alone, for fear that an animal or human predator will attack them. Children don't go to camp because their parents fear they might be afraid of the activity of the day; they don't go on nature walks because a tick might bite them. The list goes on and on. The message? Our children aren't safe. Someone, or something, is going to get them, and it's our job to protect them.

Sure, those things could happen. More often than not they don't happen. Is the world really a more dangerous place than it used to be? Or is it our perception?

I try hard to not give into the fear. My children play outside without me watching over them; in public places they sometimes leave me to observe something they see. As time goes on and they get older, their range of independence will grow. I like to think I'm comfortable with it. After all, when I was their age, I was walking to kindergarten on my own (1/2 mile each way, and I took the shortcut through people's backyards), walking with my sisters and cousins to the candy store (1 mile each way), and riding my bike around the neighborhood with friends. I wasn't older than 5 or 6 years old. I never felt that I was in any danger, and apparently, because I'm here to tell the tale, I wasn't.

Just as my parents didn't keep me close to them out of fear, I can't keep my children hidden away in hopes that danger will never touch them. How would they learn and grow if I didn't let them out into the world? I do tell them what to watch out for, what to notice, but I can't live their lives for them. I can't learn their lessons for them. I can't have their experiences for them.

All of this is easy to say when I'm feeling safe and in control. The other night something happened here and I had a flash of doubt about my children's safety. The feeling settled down and I thought it through, and I'm back to trusting that we're all as safe as we can be.

It happened while Jeff and I were eating dinner. I gave the girls each a popsicle and told them to eat outside. They were outdoors for a while. Jeff mentioned that it seemed awfully quiet out there. From my chair, I couldn't see them, but I assumed they were fine and didn't give it a second thought. Just then, they came inside and announced that they had walked all the way down the street and back, just like they did last night. What??? I didn't know they had walked down the street and back last night. Were they safe? Did they watch for cars? 'H' said, "we didn't even get hit by a car, not even once!" Bless her! Even in my disbelief and mild shock, I thought she was so cute.

In that moment, I didn't think it was okay for my children to be exploring the neighborhood with such a free reign. Now that I've had time to think about it, I see that I was most upset because I didn't know in advance what they had planned to do. I appreciate how they were relaxed and living in the moment, one thing leading to another, and before they knew it they had set out on a journey to the end of the street. But what would have happened if I had looked for them and couldn't find them? I would have panicked, and that would have been ugly.

In my heart I want to let them go free, the way I had so many chances to go free. My head is almost there. I'm not sure what it will take to align both in the right direction. What I do know is that I can't live in fear.

About Me

My name is Jillian. I started this blog as a way to experiment with my camera and it's a become a nice little spot where I enjoy spending time. I'm a mother to 6 and 4 year old daughters, wife to a cool computer guy, and mama to a cuddly cat. We enjoy eating local, organic food; managing several food allergies; homeschooling with love; spending time in nature; and we love to take time each day to be creative. You can also find me over at From Scratch Club from time to time. Welcome!