Everyday Life for Four Seasons

Are you an organized person? Sometimes? All the time? Not often?
Do you get organized in bursts and starts, excited when things seem to be in line, with trouble staying on top of them after a while?

I consider myself to be an organized person, and I would answer those questions with "Sometimes" and "Yes." To me being organized that means I have an active "system" that I rely on and periodically tweak. My system keeps me organized so that I don't have to spend so much time doing it myself. I don't take time every day (or every week) to sort through things, and I'm not so good about putting things away in their proper home. Instead I use what I think of as a Holding Bin System. If I have papers that need attention, they go in my "Active" folder on my desk so that they don't get lost. Clean laundry goes in a basket on the appropriate floor (downstairs for Jeff and me, upstairs for the girls). Miscellaneous items that need fixing or need to be returned or given to people have a place on the kitchen counter. Things pile up in the assigned holding bin, and after a while I take some time to go through the folder/pile/basket.

I've noticed through the years that I tend to sort through those piles for a few simple reasons:

1. I have bills to pay or time sensitive things that need some attention (this applies to my "Active" folder).

2. Company is coming (this applies to the laundry baskets and kitchen counter pile).

3. Things have piled up so high that it no longer seems like I have a clean house with a pile here and there, instead it seems like I have a house full of piles.

4. I WANT to.

It's only recently that I've paid more attention to the meaning of #4. When I start to feel like I want to get more organized (and it's not because of numbers 1-3 above), it's a signal to me that my emotions are driving my actions. This happened just the other day. I cleaned out all of the file folders on my desk (the ones I currently add to on a regular basis - activities for the girls, church business, work stuff). I purged, sorted and filed. After I finished the files, I moved on to the desk drawers. And finally, the magazine/reading material basket. Those are my paperwork "hotspots," the places where things tend to congregate and get stuck. I did it because I suddenly decided that I wanted to know what was in those files, drawers and basket; where things could be found; and because I wanted to unload the things I didn't want anymore.

Boy, that felt good.

I do this every few months. I used to view it as a fresh start, a time to get organized "once and for all." I'll tell you, looking at it that way set me up for failure. I've come to realize that I don't want to spend a day getting organized and then stay that way all the time. It's just not my style. It makes me uncomfortable to have to put things away every day. Besides, I have a million other things to do. I like to semi-clean up every day, moving things to a holding bin close to their final destination, with the promise that someday, for some reason, they'll find a home.

My emotions are always changing. I have ups and downs, more energy some days, less on others. My desire to keep things orderly is an indicator of how I feel. After taking this past week to lay low, say "no" to new requests for my time, energy and creativity, and focus on myself and my family, I'm finding that my desire to clean things out is growing strong. I've given myself a break from life, and I'm getting ready to bounce back. Weeks from now (or maybe months), when I'm feeling rushed and overwhelmed, I'll look around at the tall piles of stuff in my home and I guarantee that I won't have the desire to clean anything out. That's okay, I know that it will cycle back around. In the meantime, I'm still an organized person.

Truth be told, I have no right to write anything about being organized on a day like today. I'm feeling like my desk is a little messy, my dishes are a bit too dirty, and I'm afraid I'll be running late for a meeting I have tonight. Well, isn't that what life is sometimes about? When things feel hugely unorganized, I do a few small things to make myself feel like I'm back in the driver's seat.

Here's my top 5 list of little things that make me feel like I have my act together (especially when I don't).

1. Clean out the car. Spend 3 minutes picking up trash (scraps of paper, junk mail, etc) and 1 minute putting all of the things that need to go inside in a totebag (and bring the totebag in later).

2. Plan dinner menus for the next 2 or 3 evenings and make a list of what ingredients are needed. It takes so little time and it clears my head.

3. Clean off the [insert word here: coffee table, dinner table, your desk, your dresser]. Sometimes when I see a lot of clutter, I feel overwhelmed and it makes me feel even worse. If it's piled high with things that need attention, straighten up those piles, put them in a big bag/box/basket, and enjoy looking at the clean surface of your furniture.

4. Have an "Active" folder or basket and use it. I have a folder in which all of the things I absolutely need to tend to are placed. Bills, sign up forms, papers I'll need to reference are all there. Things that cannot get lost, forgotten about, or swept under the rug. Spend a minute adding things to the folder or flipping through it to see what needs to be done. Knowing that the important things are in one place, even if I don't look at them every day, gives me peace of mind.

5. Unplug and think positive thoughts. Turn off the news, close your browser, don't look at your email for a few minutes. Think of someone important to you, past or present, and what you love about them. What would they be proud of if they saw you today? What are you proud of? Feel good about yourself!

As I've said recently, I'm feeling a *little* overwhelmed with all I have to do. By "a little" I mean A LOT. The crazy thing is that when I look at all I have to do, it's basically good stuff, things I love to do. I have nothing to complain about. We have (more than) enough food to eat and clean water to drink; a safe, comfortable place to sleep; two healthy, wonderful children; a supportive, energetic network of friends; we have the luxury of walking barefoot in our backyard and watching the birds every day (hey, I lived in New York City and not a day goes by when I don't give thanks for this green space we have outside our door); and most of all, I get to spend my day educating my children and cooking up fresh food. It's all good.

Good for me, anyway. I know plenty of people (including many of my near and dear relatives) who would never want to spend the day as I do, but for me, it's perfect. Almost. If it were a little less busy it would be better. Isn't this the chant of most people? I've asked various people for a few years how to slow it all down. I've gotten a lot of answers, but so far not many of them have applied to my life. Most people I ask say, "I don't know how to slow things down." The supermarket magazines all promise that if I buy a new set of baskets or other organizational tool, my life will slow down and I'll appreciate the smaller things. I attend our UU church most Sundays, and there I absorb the lesson that if I keep our family schedule pared down, spend time in nature, and talk with my children about (among other things) spirituality, life will slow down.

What I've learned, after listening to countless women talk about how they spend their time, is that life for mothers of dependent children is never slow. The take-away lesson is this: "You have a lot to do everyday. Get used to it. Steal moments for yourself when you can. Appreciate your children today even if they are acting in a way that exasperates you. They will grow older soon, and you'll look back on these years fondly. Oddly enough, you'll look back on these years as slow years, even though for you, they went by in a flash."

OK, lesson absorbed. If I can't slow it down, how can I at least have a little peace? I'm tired of waking up in the middle of the night, thinking of all the things I have to do. I'm tired of knowing that there's always something that needs to be tended to, and most likely it's something I'm sure I'm forgetting about.

I thought I was addressing this issue a month or two ago when I got my new phone. Wow, internet, calendar, and phone in ONE! What couldn't I do now? Well, I'll tell you what I couldn't do: make a LIST that worked. All my adult life I've been a "list maker." I've always used a pen and paper, and my list includes things that need to be done today as well as things I would like to have done at some point in the future. I would number it, rewrite it, put notes in the margin. With my phone, I couldn't make the list work the way I wanted.

Last night I decided to change that. I downloaded a trial version of a program called DejaOffice and it lets me add tasks with specific time frames, which I like. There's also room to add notes to my tasks, something akin to writing in the margin. I think this might help me get back on the right track. I can write things down and keep better track of what's outstanding, and I won't have to wake up at night wondering about all the things I have to do. That sounds delightful, doesn't it?

I love my "old fashioned" ways of keeping things organized, but I'm learning how to embrace technology. I think I can meld the two together in a way that works for me.

What kinds of technology work for you?