Everyday Life for Four Seasons

The Unitarian church fair is this weekend and I'm donating time and goods. Today I dug up some perennials to sell at the plant booth, and on Saturday I'll be working at both the plant booth and the jumble table, 'A' in tow as my special helper. I also made some "heart healthy" egg- and dairy-free chocolate chip cookies for the dessert sale. "Heart healthy" is in quotation marks because it's just a claim of mine and it's not based on any science, and it's probably not really true, but it does sound good. I make them with Smart Balance instead of butter and instead of eggs I use flaxseed, and the flax oil in the Smart Balance and in the ground seeds is heart healthy.

Tonight Jeff is at a poker game and I'm going outside soon to watch the rest of the Perseids meteor shower, something I try to do every August. This year it'll just be me out there, laying on the ground looking up at the big night sky. I've been known to wake up my roommates, my husband, my family members... anyone who happens to be sleeping on a Perseids night, and make them go outside with me. Last night was actually the peak for us so tonight I shouldn't expect much, but it's fun to go out and watch. You end up seeing a lot more than you expect when you lay down, be still, and take time to really look at the night sky.

'A' and I are still working on the whole "I am four and I want to live by myself" thing. Tonight she stuck her metal hair clip in the light socket and said that a big light came out of it. My goodness, she could have been hurt, or worse! We had a big talk (after my freakout, and her freakout), and we're further along the path to reconciliation than we were earlier today. I think I need to talk to my mother about it because as I recall, I was pretty independent and also wanted to live alone at that age, and somehow my parents were able to fold me back into family life without too much stress.

Have a good night, a boring night with no electrical sparks.

I brought my camera around and snapped some photos throughout the day. This morning we dropped 'A' off at a preschool-type class at the YMCA. Her teachers from the past year were teaching so I thought it would be nice for her to go and see them again. Sending her there meant that 'H' and I had 2 and a half delicious hours together with no pressing errands (except for the cat food errand I completely forgot about - sorry Erma and Grace!). 'H' and I started at the library to return a book, then moseyed over to the health food store before finally hitting Congress Park for a ride on the carousel.


Now that July has come and gone and the dust from our Fresh Air child's visit has settled, I feel like I can make some assessments of the whole experience. I think the next time we do it, our girls will be 5 and 7 years old and we'll have a 6-year-old come and stay. That way they'll all be in a similar age bracket. The only irritating thing that has come out of all of this is that 'A' has developed quite a sassy streak that Jeff and I feel is her way of imitating some of 'R's behavior. We knew that might happen, and it's taken some time but we're holding our gentle but firm ground, and she's starting to act more like herself again. And you know, what do you say to a 4-year-old who demands that you move out and let her live her own life? We just keep saying, "I will always love you" and hope for the best.


In the end, the Fresh Air experience was a positive one. There were definitely some "glitches," but the benefits far outweigh the downside. I wanted to do this not only to help an inner city child spend time in nature, but also so that my kids could continue their life journey of putting a human face on someone from another culture, someone who lives in poverty, someone who is doing their best in their own way.


Speaking of putting a human face on another culture, I realized something today that I'm not happy about. I was listening to an NPR report on Africa and I realized that although my children can listen to the newscast, they would benefit so much more by seeing the visuals on TV. Since I get all of my news either through the radio or on the internet, and because we watch very little TV at home, my kids don't see what people who live in different parts of the world look like. They don't see the news.

When I was little, my parents watched the nightly newscasts every single night with the expectation that we kids would watch too, and on Fridays or whatever night Washington Week in Review and Wall Street Week were on (are those the names of the shows? It was so long ago...), we watched those too. We saw the news and although we understood little of it, we were at least exposed to something. We incorporated it into our play, so instead of just playing on the couches on a rainy day, we pretended the couches were our boats and we were Cambodian boat people. We had no clue what was happening in the world, but we knew that something important was happening somewhere.


One of the problems with having my children see the news in 2009 is that media images so are much more graphic than they used to be. I think it can be a good thing for adults to see those images, because people need to see what's really going on instead of some sugar-coated, toned-down story with images to match. But for little kids it's too much to understand.

So you see, I have a dilemma, a problem to solve. I can't use TV or the news to fill my kids up with healthy images of other cultures so I guess I'll have to do it another way entirely.


On a separate note, as a follow-up to my achy joints issue, I've been playing phone tag with my doctor but her messages indicate that none of my blood tests came back positive (no Lyme Disease or Lupus, in other words), so that's good. I feel a bit better every day so I'm thinking I had a little bug. Part of me is happy I went and got the tests and the other part of me is wondering what I was thinking, telling my doctor I don't feel well. Have you seen Sicko? You won't ever want to tell a doctor anything after you see that movie. You never know, your insurance company could drop you for a mystery ailment if you divulge too much information. It can and does happen and it's not something I would like to have happen to me!


Also ill are the squash plants. Squash Vine Borer in every one. I sliced them all open, removed the borer, and covered up the wounds with compost-rich soil and lots of water. I can only hope they'll live. It's a long shot but I just wasn't ready to say good-bye to the plants yet.


Above: if you've ever wondered what the traffic is like in a tourist town, here is a glimpse.

Below: Scenes from the farm today.

I know I've said this before... I just LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that we live in an area where I can visit a bustling, beautiful little city in the morning and an organic, rural farm in the afternoon and still stay so close to home the whole time. I do not take any of this for granted! We live in a very unusual place.

Just looking at more photos from today....

Here's a quick peek at the mobile that hangs at our local community center. I love this one so much! What a great way to bring the outdoors inside and call it art.


This is dinner tonight - the beans and the tomatoes are from our very own garden and the potatoes are from the farm. In addition to these and an Israeli couscous mix from Trader Joe's, we're having some veggie burgers I made yesterday out of leftover tofu-veggie-curry-rice dinner from the other night. I hope they taste good! I love the "turn leftovers into veggie burgers" trick. It works for me bigtime lately. As in, twice a week, at least.

Eunice Kennedy Shriver died today. She's one of my heroes - a wonderfully generous woman who spent her life trying to help other people. The enthusiasm and energy and ambition that she put into her work is something I think about from time to time, and I always marvel at it.

Today I'm starting to put together a basic framework for the fall season here at home. I enrolled both girls in gymnastics classes at the YMCA and they will be taking a spanish language class together at the community center. That's it for scheduled classes until winter. At the library today I checked out a book called Keepers of the Earth: Native American Stories and Environmental Activities for Children by Joseph Bruchac and Michael Caduto. Joseph Bruchac is a local Native American storyteller and the author of many, many children's books. The book is a great resource for parents and teachers because after each short story, there is a list of activities to reinforce it and different ways to explain the story so all children can understand the message.

Today I have some other homework - serious homework. Last night I found squash vine borer in one of my zucchini plants and I've got to head out to the garden this afternoon to check on everything and see what I can do to protect my other plants. Wish me luck! This has been a sad year for summer squash at our house.

One of the great things about living here in upstate New York is the variety I see in the horizon every day. Sometimes I see tall, old trees and rolling hills, sometimes I see the mountains (the Adirondacks to the north, and to the east there are mountains in Vermont - are they the Taconic Mountains I see or the Green Mountains?). Sometimes I just see big sky and flat farm land. Big Sky feeds my soul.

What a great, if not hangover-filled, weekend. Yesterday we were happy to have a few friends came over after an afternoon at the horse track, and we had a wonderful time over dinner and s'mores. (Jeff went to the track with them and I had intended to go too, but spent the afternoon napping instead to try to get rid of this mystery illness I have were my joints are sensitive and I'm drop dead tired - but that's another story. I went for a Lyme test and am hoping it comes out negative). The kids had fun too and played great together. I drank a lot of wine and ate a lot of food and laughed a lot. Laughing is something that happens quite a bit with this mix of friends and I always welcome it and keep those warm, fuzzy feelings close to my heart after we part.

Today we took yet another trip to the blueberry patch (we're addicted!). After lunch I excused myself from cleaning up the kitchen and instead sat outside and read Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv while 'A' played in the sandbox. And tonight we went to a friend's Trash the Track party and had a great time. Time for bed! For a long time!

It's hard to see, but if you look closely, you can just make out a spider spinning her web. She worked from the outside toward the inside and it was fascinating to watch. This, in addition to badminton and frisbee, was part of our after-dinner fun tonight.


The weather today was lovely, so the girls and I went to the State Park to explore. I can't even begin to describe how wonderful it was. We parked at the Roosevelt Baths and walked down a short hill through the woods. The orchestra was playing. Have you ever walked through the woods while a professional orchestra plays for you? It was delightful, to say the least!


Our first stop was at one of the many geysers in the park, followed by a trip to taste and touch one of the many mineral springs. Yuck! This water smelled awful.


At the base of the hill, beyond the spring and the geyser, is a stream where kids wade, looking for treasures such as fish and bugs. We didn't collect any of those but the girls did fill a bag with leaves, flowers and acorns. There's a playground there too, with a delicious, fat tree just the right size and shape for me to lean against and read.


On our way back to the car, the back fence at SPAC was open and I was drawn in to see the orchestra. We stayed a few moments, danced, then left. And it's a good thing we left when we did, because the guys were just about ready to lock the gates back up. It would have been a huge inconvenience to have to walk all the way around the park to get back to the car!

Tomorrow is another big day: horse track with Jeff, the girls, and our dear friends Tracy and Kurt. I can't remember if we've seen them since their wedding last fall. Is that possible?

Today we took a trip down the road to the Round Lake Library to pick up a book I wanted. It was our first trip to the library in Round Lake. I've driven through Round Lake before and it is just the cutest little town. It has an air of "we are small and quiet, and don't like people driving through here" about it, so I don't drive through unless absolutely necessary.

Round Lake is full of old "gingerbread" houses set close together on narrow little streets. It was a Methodist meeting camp in the 19th century (think Oak Bluffs on Martha's Vineyard) and out of the original tent camps came these sweet gingerbread homes.

It was a pleasure to visit the library today. Everyone I met was so nice and the woman who lives next to the library was outside picking flowers and petting her cat, and she was happy to have me take a photo of the girls in front of her home.


This is just the sort of place I would love to live! Or at least visit regularly. And to my delight I found out that I can visit regularly because this library is actually my "home" library, where I can pick up requested books and take out new arrivals. It's so much closer and more convenient - and more beautiful - than a trip to the Ballston Spa library.

Another day of bliss!

PS our compost piles smells and I'm waiting for my neighbors to complain about it! I tossed it up today, threw on a bunch more compost from the woods, and I'm holding off on adding more to it until it settles down. Whew! I guess this is what you might call a learning process!

We've had some hits and misses with the garden this year, and some "next year we will do this differently..." conversations, but for the most part I'm happy with what we have. This year is a practice year for us - we planted a variety of plants but not a lot of the same kind because we wanted to get some experience growing a variety of things. Next year I will plant more than one cherry tomato plant, and I'll put my beans where they'll get more sun, and I won't plant so much cilantro (I may not be able to control that part as I have some cilantro in another garden that keeps coming up year after year).


Today is the ultimate lazy day for me. I've spent much of it reading, a delicious treat I rarely give myself these days. I'm reading The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan. It's jam-packed with elegantly-presented information about where the heck our food comes from. Wow, this book is gripping! I'm learning a lot more about things I knew a little bit about and I'm learning a lot of new things, too. If you've ever wondered what's in that hamburger bun you're having for dinner, where your hamburger came from and what it was fed (and where the food came from), and how the soda you're drinking to wash it all down is impacting our economy, our environment, and our national eating habits, then this book is for you!

And even if you're not wondering about all of that, this book is still for you.


'H' is napping. Yesterday I started waking her from her nap early. She's such an early riser this year and I'm wondering if those 3-hour naps are the cause of her early waking (I'm talking 5:30 am wake-up time!). Yesterday was a big day for her and for me - she opted to sit on the couch in her room across from me while I read a story before naptime rather than sit in my lap and nurse. It was her choice and I tried not to show much of a reaction, instead letting her take the lead on it, as I always have done with her when it comes to nursing. She did nurse at night but again today at naptime she opted to sit on the couch. It's happening exactly as I think it should - it's her choice and there's no fanfare that goes along with it. It's just a fact of life. However, I wasn't expecting any of this and I'm a little caught off guard! We're another step closer to the end of an era. It's bittersweet.

Happy Bittersweet Moment Day to you too.

Things I loved about today:

Taking a family trip to the blueberry patch,

followed by a stop at the Farmer's Market...

Visiting a new salon and a new hairdresser for a new haircut this afternoon with 'A' by my side...

Making the most delicious focaccia for dinner with Jeff

And last but not least, watching my daughters eat raspberry sorbet out of ice cream cones.


What a great day!

Every time I look at the roof of our gazebo, I can't help but think that a weathervane would look perfect up there.

'R' left yesterday and 'A' misses her terribly.

It didn't take long to get the house back into some sort of order. The girls were pretty gentle on it while they played. The most delicious part of yesterday afternoon came during 'H's nap, when it was just me and 'A' together. The two of us haven't been completely alone in the afternoon for about a month and it was so nice to reconnect. We played together and then she helped me cook dinner. We made broiled tofu in a coconut curry sauce with short brown rice and some skewers of grilled vegetables on the side. The best part came during dinner, when she tried everything with an open mind - a clear difference from the past several days when she wouldn't eat anything because she wanted to be like 'R'.


'R' is a sweet girl and overall the experience was more positive than negative. I know that the real rewards for all of us - for our family and for 'R' - are still unseen, still to come. This experience has made me realize just how much my Christian upbringing has affected my outlook. I don't go to a Christian church now and I don't believe the tenets of Christianity, but I do hear a little voice telling me to do the right thing, and to have faith that if I do the right thing, the process will unfold as it should and the rewards will come, even if I can't see them now. Of course, Christians believe that the reward is entrance into Heaven, and that isn't my goal, but still, the messages are there, and they've stuck for good.


This experience also makes me see how idealistic and optimistic Jeff and I are. When we talk about why we wanted to have a child stay with us and what good can come out of it, I see that we have a vision of a better world. We believe we can make a difference; we believe that change is brought about by regular people doing small things; and we believe that our actions will have a long term effect on this world.


On a separate note, I got my lab results back from my doctor yesterday - basic stuff like cholesterol, and other tests like liver and kidney function, which are always good to do every so often. She put me on a Vitamin D supplement (Jeff's doctor just put him on one too, after seeing his test results. Most people in our neck of the woods are deficient and from what I hear, Vitamin D is a hot topic in medicine these days). She also put me on a Vitamin B-12 supplement, so now I'm popping 9 vitamin pills a day which is making me a little nuts!

The mystery I'm trying to figure out now pertains to my cholesterol. It's always been low, and I like to track my numbers over time to see what effect my lifestyle has on it. Since we gave up animal products, my overall cholesterol has gone down 8 points, but the other numbers (HDL, LDL, Triglycerides) have changed for the worse - gone up where they should be lower, and down where they used to be higher. When I think about the things that have changed that might affect it, I can only come up with exercise (I stopped visiting the gym regularly a few months ago) and shrimp (I used to eat a lot of it, and although it does raise bad cholesterol, it raises the good numbers even more). I'm going to go back to the gym for some good cardio workouts (yay for me!) and see if that makes a difference.


These photos of 'H' were taken during S'mores Fun Night last week at our home with little 'R'. 'H' is a cute little bundle of energy lately!

So this is what lettuce looks like after it bolts, in case you were wondering. I was wondering because this is my first year growing a few plants and I had no idea what bolting really was. Now I know.


We're one week into our time with 'R', our Fresh Air child. It's certainly been a new experience for us. The girls love her to pieces. Only lately are she and 'A' having trouble playing together, and I figure it's because they've spent so much time together. I keep trying to make them have quiet alone time in the afternoon while 'H' naps but they refuse to be separated, even though they bicker a bit.

For me, it's been tiring, and most of the exhaustion is around the food issue. We don't eat meat, eggs or dairy and I do offer a number of kid-friendly meals here: pasta with a variety of sauces; peanut butter and jelly sandwiches; pancakes; blueberry muffins; and then other things that some kids like such as hummus, pickles, black bean burritos and pizza with tofutti cream cheese & veggie topping.

Does she like any of it? No. She wants to go back to her fast food diet. And the things she does eat here, like pasta with margarine and toast with margarine? Those things she wants to eat in huge quantities. Two, three, four helpings. Giving structure to meal time is a whole new experience for me, because my kids eat a bit of foods that are basically healthy and when they feel full, they stop eating. I'm trying not to make food a big issue with 'R' but it's not something that can be avoided.


On the plus side, she's really enjoyed it up here. She lives in the Bronx and her access to the outdoors - and to larger indoor spaces - is limited. When she got here, I showed her the bathroom downstairs, and later when it was time for a bath I told her to go to the bathroom to get ready and she was blown away when she saw we had a bathroom upstairs. "You have TWO bathrooms?" Well actually we have 3. She also told the girls that they are so lucky to have our backyard. She really appreciates it.


Our only real "incident" so far has involved the cats. 'R' has treated them horribly from the minute she came here, despite all that Jeff and I had told her about how to act with them, what to do and what not to do. Finally we told her to leave them alone and ignore them but she couldn't do that either. She reminded me of those kids you see at the zoo who get the animals in the cage all riled up. It came to a head when Grace felt cornered by 'R' and lashed out a 'A' who was standing right next to them. Grace scratched 'A's leg with both paws. I can't have this happening in my house. I called my Fresh Air contact to tell her what happened and to let her know that with 4 days left to go, 'R' was definitely going to get scratched.

My Fresh Air contact and I agreed on a solution that felt right to me: 'R' is to not enter a room if the cat is in it and is to avoid the cats at all times. If the cat scratches anyone in the house again, 'R' will have to be placed with another family until it's time for her to go home.

It broke my heart to tell her she might have to leave, but I can't live any other way. Of course, right after I told her all of this she went and antagonized the cat again, but she's learning that she can't be near the cat and things are definitely much better.


So, will we do this again? Host a Fresh Air child? We can't have 'R' come back, because of the cat issue. And the food and her disrespect of people and animals is tiring, even if it is a good experience for her. We're still open to trying again with a different child. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I'm wondering how long this post will be up before the Thought Police find me and ask me to take it down. If you do an internet search for Fresh Air Fund experiences on both websites and blogs, you'll be hard pressed to find a description of a visit that is anything less than glowing. They must get rid of the negative ones somehow because I find it hard to believe that no one would post about it. And trust me, we're not the first family with a less than positive experience.