Everyday Life for Four Seasons

Here is the pillow I made last night at my sewing class. I didn't pick the fabric combo - the teacher did. I haven't decided if it will live at my house. It might look better at Jennifer's house (my sister). Her decorating style is a little more floral and ornate than mine.

Tomorrow I am going to 'A's preschool class to observe. I'm going in part because her 3 year check-up is next week and I want to see her interact with her teachers and the other children so I can talk to her doctor about it. I'm also going because all of the parents received an interesting letter from the teachers. The teachers outlined some of the new things they are doing in class, and some of those things include reviewing specific behavioral rules that need to be followed in the classroom.

Anyone who has met me knows that I am a big fan of behavioral rules. I love that there are classroom rules and that the parents are expected to support those rules by reviewing them at home. What I am concerned about are the mixed messages the teachers are giving. When I pick 'A' up at preschool and ask how she is doing, her teachers say she's doing great, and that I don't need to improve on anything in particular. Then I get a letter telling me that all of the children need to be reminded of several rules because they are not able to follow them well. If my child needs to be reminded to listen to the teacher and follow the rules in school, I wish they would tell me that instead of saying she's doing fine. Likewise, if she is following the rules, I don't like being confused by receiving a letter like this.

One of my main objectives as a mother of girls is to guard and nurture their self-esteem. Nothing is more important than that. I don't care where my girls fall on the academic food chain as they get older or where they find themselves on the social ladder. As long as they have high self-esteem, they will be okay, they will make it to adulthood with a good perspective on life, taking healthy memories and messages with them, and they will have the grounding to be productive members of society.

One of the best ways to erode self-esteem in small children is to send them mixed messages. And if those mixed messages come from two of the most important authority figures in their young life, their mother and their teacher, even better. How does 'A' feel when I bring her home from preschool and tell her that her teacher just told me she thinks she's doing a good job, and then she shows up for school and is told by her teacher that she needs to work on a few issues?

I suspect that they sent the letter home to show that they are being clear about classroom expectations by sending the message to every parent, when perhaps it applies to only a few. That kind of approach can work well in situations where the people in the group have a peer-pressure relationship and they can push each other to follow the rules if it means that the whole group wins. It can also work well if it's employed at the beginning of the school year, before they have given parents any other feedback about each child's behavior, as a way to establish rules and boundaries and make their expectations clear. But neither of those is the case.

Something wasn't right about the letter they sent home. I'm going in to observe, and I want to get on the same page as the teacher. Otherwise, we undermine each other's authority and that's the last thing 'A' needs. My main goal is to make sure the messages are coming across to the children clearly and fairly.