Everyday Life for Four Seasons

This is the unicorn that lives with us!

It is so cold here! I tried to warm up the house by cooking today. Apple butter (takes forever!), apple sauce, pumpkin cupcakes and lentil soup. Jeff made pancakes for breakfast and he finished out the day by making popcorn for all of us.


Saturday nights are "Movie Night with the Girls" at our house. We eat an early dinner. Then Jeff makes popcorn and we all sit on the couch and watch a movie. Tonight we watched the original Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, always a favorite. After the movie, 'A' wanted to wave the Happy New Year signs she made with Rachel, the child care provider at the gym. So we got them out and waved them around and had a party.

The bok choy salad was good last night. I have to say, I do feel really good today, so maybe Roberta is right when she says that dark leafy greens will make you feel noticeably better. I went to 2 classes at the gym this morning: core strengthening and yoga. The core class was taught by a woman who is well known for her hard workouts. After I took her class last week, I couldn't move for a few days. Today I did okay - I was more in touch with my body during the classes and I feel great now.


Laurie G's Famous Bok Choy Salad

The Greens:
Dice up one head of bok choy and 2/3rds bunch of scallions

The Crunchies:
Heat up some canola oil and butter in a frying pan and cook until slightly browned:
Crushed up bag of ramen noodles (throw away the seasoning packet-easiest to crush it while it's still in the bag)
Sliced Almonds (a bunch)

The Dressing:
1/4 cup Canola oil
1/3 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup vinegar (we use rice vinegar or red wine vinegar)
6 teaspoons sugar

These photos chronicle our morning. This is what the breakfast table looks like at our house from my kitchen counter viewpoint. Usually the atmosphere is "rush rush" and usually it's my fault - I like to sleep as late as I can, and that sets us back a few minutes in the morning. The menu rarely changes - a pumpkin muffin for 'H' (I load the muffins up with whole wheat flour and flaxseed - good for her digestive health) and bread with tofutti cream cheese for 'A'. They share a piece of fruit or two and each get at least one big cup of OJ for a vitamin C boost. When Jeff is around, he makes them some porridge glop oatmeal.


It was snowing here all morning, even when it wasn't snowing in Schenectady or Saratoga Springs. We got a bunch.


On Thursdays, when breakfast is over, we pile into the car - quick, quick! - and drive 'A' to preschool.


This is the nursing home where she goes to school.


Then 'H' and I ran some errands. This is what downtown Saratoga Springs looked like this morning.


One of our stops was the grocery store. I am admitting that I have an imbalance. I need to change what I'm eating to feel better. Ever since the Christmas season started, I've been happily putting away sweets and carbs in amounts far greater than what my body needs. I haven't been hungry since the first day of Hanukkah, when I stuffed myself silly with practically all of Jeff's latkes. Ever since then, I think I feel hungry when really the sensation I'm feeling is my large, full stomach starting to empty out. "I hear grumbling! Time to fill it up again!"

It has to STOP!

Dinner tonight is Laurie G's bok choy salad, some brown rice, and some Asian chicken. Laurie's salad is always a hit at our table and makes us feel less like lethargic cows and more like the trim little mice we want to be. And, if I listen to Roberta Tabachneck, a holistic counselor, I will feel noticably better after eating my dark leafy greens, so check in tomorrow to see if that's true!


Speaking of mice, the exterminator saga, which was supposed to end today, is still on indefinitely because the "live harvest" is still yielding some live ones. Yum.

Above is my Proud Mama photo of the day. 'H' was so proud of herself for figuring out how to match up her fingers and hold her hands in a triangle pose. I remember when 'A' learned how to do that too, and she was just as proud. I pulled over and snapped her photo on the spot!


Back at preschool for pick-up. 'A' wasn't ready to stop listening to the story, so she and 'H' sat on the rug with the kids who were waiting for their parents and they listened to Miss J. tell an Eric Carle story.


Miss J. is not the regular teacher - she comes in once a week for exercise time. She used to teach regularly but retired.


We packed up and got ready to go home and have lunch and take a nap. The letter of the day was 'L' and we had brought in a lollipop, with the agreement that 'A' could eat it after class. She made sure she had her lollipop all ready to go!


Today was teddy bear day. I *think* this is a hand puppet?


Jeff should enjoy shoveling out the snow and the mailbox tonight.

We finally received the scarf that Grandma Shelly made for 'H'! It looks like it got "lost" in the mail for a few days. The mail in our neighborhood used to get mixed up a lot, and then I started giving our mailman presents, kind of as insurance against the mix ups. We haven't had any known issues since I started the gifting over a year ago. Until now.


Anyway, it's here and it is so adorable! She loves it. 'A' got hers out for the photo shoot too.


Today we have snow and freezing rain, and it's still coming down. Jeff is working from home and I didn't bother to take the girls to their first music class with Miss Barbara at the Community Center. It wasn't worth it to go out in this weather. So instead, we stayed home in our pajamas and painted at the easel!


The paints were finger paints but since I have the children with the neatness complex, both immediately asked for a brush. 'A' uses finger paints at preschool so she is much more accustomed to using her hands for painting. I had always pegged 'H' as the tactile, hands-on kind of kid, but maybe she's not. She did get into it eventually and by the end of the painting session they were both covered.


My exterminator friend came by and found two flying squirrels and again, no mice. No mice? Where are they? The squirrels die as soon as they are caught because apparently their hearts are weak and their systems go into overload when the adrenaline hits. Not that you asked or anything.


Emily mailed me The Ten Year Nap, a novel by Meg Wolitzer. It's actually Cathy's copy and I am looking forward to reading it. It's about navigating the motherhood waters. I also picked up I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids by Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile at the library yesterday, also about navigating the waters.


Enjoy your day!

The exterminator came back today to remove more "friends" from the traps. He only got one flying squirrel and no mice. No mice? How can that be? He told me that he kept the flying squirrel he caught last week and brought it home as a pet. "Your wife is okay with this?" I asked. He says it really likes the pecans he feeds it. At least he already knows it likes to live indoors!


Jeff and I came to the conclusion last night - once again - that 'A' is in some ways just like us. And it's not something I'm totally happy about. She had her gymnastics class yesterday and she kept acting goofy in class. She would fall down and roll around when she was supposed to be jumping, or purposely do the balance beam all funky. It's not like she doesn't know how to do any of that stuff - she plays "gymnastics" at home and loves it. She feels so proud of herself for doing the balance beam, and for doing her jumps. So why was she acting this way? I was really confused.


We think what it boils down to is that she doesn't like it when we hype something up in advance. Yesterday was the first gymnastics class in the new session, and the night before I had told her about the class and made it sound exciting. I guess for many kids, that kind of excitment would be a good thing, and they might look forward to class and be happy about doing the activities.


But, if she's anything like me, it backfires. I wouldn't say that I have a resistance to authority, and I wouldn't say that I have a fear of commitment either. I'm 35 years old and I still don't know if there is a label for it. I can say that I inherited it directly from my father, I think, and that my younger sister probably has it too. I guess the easiest way to describe it is to say that I need a lot of space to process things, and a lot of flexibility to make my own determination about whether something is good or bad. Maybe the word is "autonomous." So, if my mother had said to me, "we're going to gymnastics class tomorrow and you'll have a chance to do some jumping and walk on the balance beam! Doesn't that sound like fun?" I probably would have said, "let's just see when we get there if I feel like doing any of that stuff and I'll be the one to let you know if it's a good idea or not."


So now I know that I have a little "me" here. And you could say that there is a part of Jeff that is like that too. His need for space and independence is a little different, but he has it too. You can't hover over him or tell him what to think, or he will bristle too. It works out well that we both need space because while he's busy needing his space, he's not infiltrating mine, and that makes me happy.


Sometimes I tell him that I feel like a bad mother with 'A' because I don't give her enough of the warm and fuzzy mothering that mothers are supposed to give. But as he points out, she doesn't need it. And that's nice, because it's not really my style to give it.

'H' on the other hand is a different creature. I guess we'll cross some of her bridges when we come to them.


This isn't the first time we've talked about 'A' and her need to be autonomous and have space and independence on her terms. It seems that anytime I try to hype something up, she gets turned off by it. When I set up the sticker reward chart for potty training, she asked me to take it down. If I tell her that her preschool teacher is excited to see her and enjoys having her in class, she spends the morning completely ignoring her. If I serve her a new food and even mention it in advance, she says she doesn't like it. I don't like making everything a surprise, but if we talk about it in advance, she gets a little out of sorts, like I'm forcing her to do or think or feel something.


I haven't called my mom yet to talk about it. She'll probably just laugh and laugh. Most likely though, she'll say that 'A' is the luckiest child in the world to be raised by two parents who understand her individual needs. I really hope we can say the same thing about 'H'.


Snow tomorrow, a bunch of snow. I went out and bought Jeff a desk today so he can work from home tomorrow. Now he has something to do tonight - set up the desk. As if he needed another project! Poor guy. Maybe he can sneak in some snowshoeing tomorrow or this weekend.

Look what I found outside today - my thyme plant, and it's still alive and well! It's a sign that it wants to come indoors this winter. Let's see how long it takes for it to die. They always do.

That white stuff is snow. It was covered.

Today Jeff and I celebrate the anniversary of our first date. It's a story that's been retold a thousand times and I'm sure everyone who hears it is bored of it, except for us. It's our special story. We we didn't think we would really like each other, and when we did finally meet, we were pleasantly surprised to find that we got along easily. We had a very nice time. After our date was over and I went to stay at Jennifer's house, my smile told her all she needed to know.

Actually, that's not completely true. It told Bill all that he needed to know - it gave Jennifer a place to start. Jennifer asks a million questions about everything. I probably smiled my way through all of that grilling!


I grew up with a very close relationship to the water and my parents have taught me a lot about the ebb and flow of things. The tide goes out, which can be upsetting if you want to swim or sail, but if you want to look for shells, or walk way out on the flats and see the land from a different viewpoint, it's a good thing. Things are in a constant state of change, and depending on how you look at it, it can be good or bad. Relationships are the same way. Take me and Jeff. We're in a time of change right now. I know because he's been spending a lot more time and energy "pitching in" around the house. I asked him why, and he said he likes to feel productive. At the same time, I've been spending significantly less time these past few months on household tasks. Our kitchen floor is dirty, my filing pile is through the roof, and I really should be better at putting the laundry away, but I just avert my eyes and take a few more photos of my kids instead of focusing on taking care of my "stuff." I am trying to find a balance between enjoying the moment and taking care of my responsibilities. I guess I'm trying to define my responsibilities - how important is the kitchen floor? Can I afford to spend less time taking care of it?

Back to our priority list - the list of things that makes us feel wealthy - I had noticed when we made it that "having a nice, or at least comfortable home" wasn't on the list. I do try to keep up the house, but having a nice house isn't something that makes a difference to me. You should see some of the places I've lived. I think for Jeff it matters more to have a nice home, but even for him, that didn't make it onto the list. Knowing this gives me some breathing room to focus on the other things and less on our home.

So, we'll see where all of this takes me and Jeff. Is our tide going out or coming in? Are we open to going in this direction? Will we be able to see the good things along the way? Or will we always be looking back, or looking ahead, to see what what we're missing?

Today the girls and I ran a few errands, went to the gym (I hope to make the Friday pilates class a regular "thing"!) and then waited for the exterminator to come. He was really very normal, not at all shaky like some others I have met, and that tells me that he spends more time handling live animals and doing assessments and preparation than handling poisons. He cut a door through 'A's closet to the attic above the house, which we hadn't had access to. I was nervous for him, and for me, before he did it, and I told him so. When you know you have animals, and you know your roof needs repair, you never know what you're going to find when you cut into an attic. My fears were unfounded, and in fact he told me that there's quite a bit of insulation up there, despite the fact that Jeff and I are convinced we have NONE. It gets so cold here! Maybe we just need a few more years to get acclimated to the upstate NY winters :).

He did come downstairs with a "pet" flying squirrel and tried to show it to me. I said, "NO! Thank you, but no thank you." I asked him what he does with them. He said he releases them behind their building. So, if you've ever wanted a good reason to not live next door to an exterminator, here is one: they will release wild animals right next door to your house!


Today 'A' and 'H' colored all over 'A's new calendar with marker. I was very upset and disappointed. But luckily Jeff came home and put it all in perspective for me. If you ever want perspective, ask a man. He said, "so you're upset that your 1 and 3 year olds were acting like 1 and 3 year olds?" And with that, the situation was over.


Let's see if 'A' falls asleep OK tonight. She still needs an afternoon nap, but when she has one, she takes a while to fall asleep. And when she doesn't have one, she's very tired and isn't quite "right." For over a month I have been giving her a regular afternoon nap and she's grown over an inch! My mother always says that children grow in their sleep. I think what she means is that children need sleep to grow. I'm not sure they actually do their growing while their eyes are shut. Or do they?

This is what a 3 year old with bed-head and a Halloween mask looks like!

Do this exercise with me: imagine that it is really cold. Colder than you ever remember it. Now imagine that you are at my house. Guess what? It's really cold here today! This has been my reality today. bbrrr.... let's hope it gets warmer real soon!

I wish you all the happiness for the coming year.