Everyday Life for Four Seasons

I've been thinking lately about what I'll do to prepare for the coming year with "preschool at home," as we call it. I don't want to have a curriculum exactly, but I do want to think about the flow of the days and the year as a whole. My goals for this year are to continue to emphasize the natural world and the importance of community service. Everything else is secondary. We've been spending a lot of time just observing nature, taking it all in, and seeing how one thing affects another. Some clouds bring rain, some show the sun. Some seeds make plants that grow food. Bees move pollen from one plant to another, creating more fruit. Plants grow a little bit more every day.


I am really wedded to the idea that observing nature is an important foundation for all else in life. Learning to appreciate the natural cycles and processes, to understand how things unfold, how everything is interconnected, and how it's all part of a larger system is what it's all about in life. Part of our "learning" includes time to observe nature, time to work in our garden, trips to the farm where we pick up our CSA share every Wednesday, and in the fall, we'll be visiting my sister Emily, who keeps bees, to see how she processes her honey.


I'm going to take time to sit down and outline the year ahead and think about ways to observe the natural process during each season. I've checked out the "prefab" curricula for preschoolers that lean toward the natural world (generally any Waldorf-based curriculum) but since it's "just" preschool (which I take to mean "before school") and since I really don't want to be bound to someone else's idea of what we should be doing, I'm going to follow my own plan.


Community service is a lot harder to plan out, and frankly I don't think it's something that should be well-planned at all. I tend to support causes that I happen to come across, things that strike me as important when I hear about them. Just in the past few months, I've supported, among other things, the women in Darfur who need solar stoves and now we're taking in a Fresh Air Fund child, and if you had asked me about these programs a few weeks before had I committed to them, I wouldn't have known what you were talking about. It's simple: I live my life. I find out about someone who needs my help. I do it because I can.

So, in light of that philosophy, I'm not going to make a community service plan, and instead I'll just let the causes "come" to us.


I just checked two books out of the library:

: Heaven on Earth: A Handbook for Parents of Young Children by Sarifa Oppenheimer
: What is a Waldorf Kindergarten? by Sharifa Oppenheimer and Joan Almon

Both are wonderful guides for me, helping me to recognize the daily, monthly and yearly rhythms and the ways that children learn.

Church today. It seems that every time I go, I get more involved. It's a good thing I guess, and the way it should be. Today the minister spoke about being our own worst critic and something she said really stuck with me - that children are here to grow into who they are, not to fill in the gaps in their parent's self-esteem.


We're busy getting ready for 'R', the little girl who will be coming to our home tomorrow as part of the Fresh Air Fund program. We're setting up her bed, getting her towel ready, plugging in a nightlight in the bathroom, and setting out her own sketchbook and markers so she can color while she's here... looking at the forecast, planning some activities (library, Howe Caverns, blueberry picking, Lake George, carousel and sorbet, backyard playtime, and more are on our list). We're looking forward to getting to know her and having her settle in.


S'mores last night, popsicles tonight... the summertime treats never end. It's a cool, sweet summer at our house this year.

This year, July is a month that is bringing us visitors almost every day. Jeff's parents ("Grandma Shelly" and "Grandpa Neal") just kissed us goodbye after a very nice 5 day visit, and in just a few days, we're happy to be welcoming a little girl from New York City into our home as part of the Fresh Air Fund program.


Finally the rain has dried up enough for us to have Family S'mores Nights, and I can't tell you how happy I was to assemble this basket filled with marshmallows, graham crackers and Newman's dark chocolate bars (no dairy). The girls love s'mores so much and I can't say it's just a kid thing in our house. Jeff and I love them too!


Last weekend we added a little extra excitement to our life when 'H' poked 'A' in the eye with a marker cap and scratched her cornea. Oh what fun a trip to the opthamologist is on a Saturday morning! 'A' got an eye patch, which she wasn't happy about (would you be?), and I, the good-intentioned fool that I am, promised her that I would put one on just as soon as we got home. Well, I tried it on and immediately felt dizzy and sick. Thank goodness for Jeff. He put one on and was her special buddy. She was such a trooper about the whole thing. I love her.


Things I'm happy about this week:

** The tomatoes are still growing and so far, no signs of blight. But since it's spreading so quickly and it's still so rainy, I'm sure it's just a matter of time before it comes to my garden. But so far, so good!

** 'A' went to the ballet with her grandparents this week and loved it.

** Jeff and I made blueberry jam one night this week and although the jam *hasn't yet set* (maybe it will set, maybe it never will, and if it doesn't, we have a number of jars of blueberry topping waiting for our pancakes this coming winter), it was a nice treat to spend time cooking with my husband.


Things I'm not happy about this week:

** A few of my squash plants succumbed to stem rot from all the rain we've had. I'm watching the others carefully and still don't consider any of them to be out of the woods.

** I found out the hard way that the vine crawling up our backyard tree is poison ivy. I should probably start using garden gloves, but I love to feel the soil and the leaves too much. The poison ivy tingle is not much fun to deal with!


This weekend calls for rest, cleaning up and getting ready for our New York City friend to come!

I took this one while I was out yesterday. It's my all-time favorite intersection. In the whole world. Why? Take a look at the gardens in the background. They're on both sides of the street and they are breathtaking. Every time I drive into Saratoga Springs in the summer, there they are, waiting for me. I love them.


I wish I could describe this feeling I have tonight - it's happy, but not happiness. It's fulfillment, but without anything specific that's been fulfilled. It's a feeling of being solid and steady, without seeing what might try to knock me down. I guess it's a feeling of peace with the moment. Just being.


Ever since I started to consciously simplify my life, I've noticed that I don't get "stressed out" as much as I used to. At this point, it takes a lot to get me rattled.


The garden is growing. So are my petunias in the hanging baskets. Keeping on top of them is a full time job, and if I skip a day of deadheading, they get all leggy and sticky. This is the last year I'm growing petunias! The LAST!


It's off to bed for me, for the second time today (I napped). Night, night.

One of our stops at the Cape was Old Harbor Station, once located in Chatham, now found in Provincetown. My stepfather, Dick Ryder, grew up with the Station not only in his family history, but also in his backyard. He just came out with a book about it, called "Seashore Sentinel: The Old Harbor Lifesaving Station on Cape Cod."


The surfmen who manned the station spent long days in rough weather watching the seas, waiting to help when a ship was in trouble. At the station, we see where they slept, where they ate, where they stored the emergency equipment, and how they used the breeches buoy to save passengers. His book fills in the rest - the personal stories and the action that you can't see when you walk in the building.


He also took us to Nauset Light, partly because it's fun to go there, and also because 'A' has been asking about lighthouses. Dick has the key, and we went up for the tour.

Thrilled to go away, and more than happy to be back home now. Isn't that just how it should be?


I learned a few things about myself these past few days and I have been pleasantly surprised by what I've found. For starters, ever since we gave up meat and dairy a couple of months ago (on April 27, to be exact), we've pretty much stuck to our plan with one exception when we ate dinner out. Considering how much I have always loved cheese and butter, it's amazing that I've been able to walk away from it so easily. It's a testament to how great I feel now that I'm not eating it.

Mom suggested we eat lobster for dinner one night. LOBSTER. With BUTTER. Would it be good? Would we like it? Heck, we always used to! So we said yes, and waited to see how we would feel while (and after) we ate it. And of course we wanted to go down to the beach and see how many clams we could dig up to have as an appetizer.


So how did we feel? Was the lobster worth it? As much as I hate to say it, because it's such an expensive treat and because I always loved it so much, I don't think it was. Jeff didn't think so either. And that came as a complete surprise to me. It's one thing to say we're giving up certain foods, and then not eat them, but it's an entirely different thing to eat them again and not feel it was worth doing.


Something else that caught me off guard was seeing how firm my personal boundaries have become. I haven't done any conscious "work" on them, but here they are, clearer than they've ever been. I'm at a point in my life where my issues are my issues, and I don't want anyone else working on them for me (or with me). Ultimately, no one else can do it. It's up to me. I'm on a journey of personal responsibility that I have to take by myself.

Likewise, I'm not interested in crossing into someone else's "issue space". This is a change for me. My mother was telling me that she's in the midst of switching doctors because her doctor left the practice and now she's got to find a new one. And while this search is happening, she happens to have a medical issue that she's concerned about. And I'm concerned about it too. She knows she has to see a doctor but she's not running to the phone to make an appointment. Normally, I would be worried about her, and I would think about her and hope she's okay... obsessively, for a few weeks, or until she had seen the new doctor. This weekend I did worry, and I did hope she was okay, but only for a minute. Then I realized that it's not my body, not my search for a new doctor, not my phone call. I have my own health to think about, and my mother is an adult, a former nurse, and she's completely capable of taking care of her own health. So I'm letting her. I'm not going to try to get into her personal space and take over her issues. They're hers, not mine.


I guess you could say that I'm maturing. Geez, I thought that was something you did when you were young and learned to load the dishwasher without help... or something that happened when you were older and had seen more in life. It never really occurred to me that it would happen now, when I play with little kids all day and the last thing I think about are issues of maturity.


This is what Justine said we'll get from the farm tomorrow:

Cucumbers, Carrots, Lettuce, Parsley, Beets, Mesclun, Swiss Chard or Kale, and one additional vegetable not yet determined.

She said that many crops were destroyed by the hail last week.

I can't wait to check our little backyard garden tomorrow!

We're on the Cape and we brought the sun with us. It's welcomed by all of these New Englanders who haven't seen it in a while, and frankly, we're not surprised it followed us here. It followed us to Rhode Island last weekend and we're starting to think it just follows us wherever we go.


Choices. We all make them everyday, and most often you don't see what would have happened if you had picked a different option, you just trust that you're making the best choice you can.

On the way to the Cape yesterday there was heavy traffic as we neared the bridges. For most of my life, I've gone over the Sagamore Bridge, but these past few years I've been going over the Bourne. The traffic reports indicated that there was a 5 mile back up for the Bourne and a 3 mile back up for the Sagamore. Jeff looked at the alternate routes and wondered if we should cut over to the Sagamore, and I said I didn't think so. The alternate route would have taken just as long. We went back and forth on it, wondering what to do. We stuck with the Bourne bridge. At the last minute, there's a turn off for the Sagamore and we chose to stay on our course and not take it.

After we got across, we took a road that had us driving right under the Sagamore Bridge. "Wow," we said, "that traffic is at a standstill." Then we saw the car that had flipped over and was leaning against the side of the bridge. People were just getting out of their cars and were looking dazed. It had just happened. A car (the one that was flipped) drove into 2 lanes of oncoming traffic on the bridge. And you know what? If we had chosen to take the Sagamore, we could have been at that spot, or we could have been stuck in the traffic behind the accident for hours.

We made the right choice. Thank goodness everyone in that accident walked away.


We got here in time to play in the sand, spend time with Grandma and Grandpa, and try to catch the fireworks before sending the girls off to bed. The fireworks were at Rock Harbor and if it had been low tide, we could have walked out on the flats and seen the fireworks very well. But it was high tide and we were confined to the beach, and we could just barely make out some of the bigger ones as they cleared the tree line. We didn't see much of the big public display, but the neighbors didn't disappoint us. On both sides they were shooting off smaller ones that were LOUD and neat to watch.


Today we went to the 4th of July parade in town and after the girls wake up from naptime, it'll be time to hit the beach! Veggie burgers and Cape Cod Potato Chips for dinner tonight (is there any dinner better than that????) and more playtime after that.

You know how much I love to be here. It satisfies my soul.

I did take some time to turn the cucumbers into pickles today. I sterilized everything and made 2 jars of refrigerator pickles. I liked the recipe because it called for turmeric, and I like turmeric in pickles. Who knows how they'll come out. I've never actually pickled anything (except for those times I've gotten myself in a pickle!) so I'm wondering what they will taste like.

At least the cucumbers aren't going to get spongy in my refrigerator drawer this week!

I'm packing up for a vacation at my mother's house at the Cape. I'm happy to be going. I miss the Cape and now that my children are a little older and need less physical care from me (the holding-nursing-holding routine is far behind me, thank goodness!) I look forward to vacations a little more. It seems like it might actually be a vacation now that I'm not physically attached to someone else. And you know, I'm the first to admit that I don't care for babies AT ALL and I do really enjoy young children, so you could say that right now I'm at the apex of my parenting journey, with a 2 and 4 year old.

Two things that are total bummers with my kids:
We served noodles with peanut sauce to 'A' last night for dinner and she got hives on her face - not a good sign. This was one of her first exposures to peanuts. I'm going to take her in for a full nut test to see what exactly I can serve for dinner and what I can't. It's a bummer because peanut butter is so yummy - way better than soy nut butter, and much easier to find. I wish we could switch her over.

'H' continues to fall and cry so hard that she holds her breath and passes out. This is pretty much an every other day occurrence at this point. It's making me crazy! I now shout out "lollipop! marshmallow! candy!" whenever she starts up, trying to distract her and make her take a breath before she faints. I'm so sick of this game. Why did it just start out of nowhere? When will it end?

Rain today. Some might say "torrential downpour." If I didn't have to go to the farm today to pick up our share, I wouldn't have. It wasn't raining at our house when I left, but by the time I got to Mechanicville, the NWS was issuing a flash-flood advisory for exactly the spot I was in! There was quite a bit of water on the streets and I held my breath until we were heading back home on high ground.

The "S" vegetable was squash. And we got 6 cucumbers. SIX. If I don't pickle them, which I won't because I won't have time before I leave for the weekend, what will I do with them? Tonight we made this cucumber salad and it was delightful.

Sesame Cucumber Salad (from Cooking Light)

Ingredients
1 3/4 cups (2-inch) julienne-cut English cucumber (about 1 large)
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup red bell pepper strips
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
2 teaspoons grated peeled fresh ginger
2 teaspoons dark sesame oil
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
Preparation
Place cucumber in a colander; sprinkle with salt. Toss well. Drain for 20 minutes. Combine cucumber and bell pepper in a medium bowl.

Combine vinegar, ginger, and oil, stirring with a whisk. Pour over cucumber mixture; toss gently to coat. Stir in crushed red pepper and black pepper.